Don't judge

I made a 2 year old hike 2.2 miles this weekend... in my defense; picking her up resulted in high pitched shrills that almost made her father's ears bleed. I refused to be a part of it. I'm just gonna stay back here...



I have no idea what Shishter Summer is doing... a Crab imitation perhaps?

More arguing...note the cautious steps my husband is trying to take and the reckless abandon of Thing 2. I nearly had a heart attack. Since I can do it better...

Now I'm trying to help and failing miserably at it... and being told about it too.

Going super sonic for Papa...

Finally just giving in. She wins; Ellee: 10001010109290329105; mom and papa: ZERO

Sleeping Beauties

We can't help but gather evidence/take photos of Summer sleeping. Mostly since it always seems someone just came up to her and knocked her out. She just passes out in the middle of ANYTHING; a book, her DS, you name it. And when she's out; she's OUT of it. There have been times when we've woke her up on the couch to go upstairs to bed and she'll walk into the kitchen or over to the back door.



THIS was taken just to have proof that Hellcat does infact reboot her system. Sleeping is VERY private to her; we've only been around her falling asleep twice.

These turds. They HATE sharing the couch. (Don't cry, these couches are WELL LOVED; that's what matters, right?) :)

When Frank sleeps he tucks in his feet like a freakin' hamster. And you can get a sense of the sound that comes from him by watching any "Predator" movie... that rattly, snarling, AWFUL sound gets LOUD. We have to turn up the TV and yell at Summer to go shake her dog.

Just gross...We'll keep him though. He's special.

oh soooo sneaky

I'm sitting 3 feet from Thing 2 who THINKS she's totally got me snowed over to the fact that she's elbow deep in a cup of her sister's ice water. Really sneaky when 1) she's SILENT for the first time in 19 months and 2) she keeps turning around and looking over her shoulder at me with a giant "I'm doing wrong" smile on her face. Whatever kid; little do you know I am fully aware of what your doing; I just don't care. Rock on with your cold self.

How did you spend your mothers day, you asked? Well, at 5am the alarm went off so my dear husband could go "fishing". I use the term loosely, since these turds only FEED the fish a putrid anchovy type fish. I guess it was more about boy bonding and getting sunburn in an awesome farmer tan pattern I thought we left in Wisconsin. Guess I was very wrong. THEN; when Thing 2 announced her change of status by laying against her bedroom door and VIOLENTLY KICKING IT at about 7:45am, we got up and get ready for the Springs Preserve. This place ROCKS. It's an ecological park that focuses on desert living and conservation. There's lots of interactive things for the kiddies and it's engaging enough for adults too. Since it's already over 90 degrees by 10am, this place is great with lots of exhibits indoors. Fun for us. So in a moment of delusion; I have the false sense that I CAN control Thing 1, Thing 2 and a stroller. Dumb, I know. Things go well until we get out of the car. Then it's 2 hours of all 3 of us NOT wanting to be anywhere near each other. Unfortunately for Thing 2; she has a harness and can't get away. YES A HARNESS. Don't judge me. Thing 1 NEVER needed one; so naturally Thing 2 does.

This afternoon I was treated to a Circus in my house; and not just the usual sideshow that happens everyday from 5 to 7:30pm. This was my Mother's Day gift from the girls. And even though it took about an hour; and had 3 intermissions, I did get to see all the 'acts' and Summer worked really hard with Ellee. She named all the colors in her book, screamed at Summer for about 4 minutes, walked on her hands while Summer held her feet, pushed Summer and yelled "NO. TOUCH." then they did some flips for me. She's a very good big sister to a very bad little sister.

I quit

I quit fighting and joined the blogging masses... please believe I quit nearly everything I start; so enjoy this while it lasts... or don't.

I'm super smart. How did I get so super smart? I have wonderful teachers in my life. Here are somethings I learned just yesterday; courtesy of the things that occupy my home.

You have to tell a 10 year old girl to NOT wear Tuesday the clothes she wore Monday; but not until you've come home after work on Tuesday and seen that she's already been to school in them... again.

When daycare providers are excited to see you; its never good... Take yesterday for example. When I opened the door to Ellee's classroom both teachers JUMPED UP to talk to me. Apparently, Ellee and her friend Janae enjoy playing in Janae's pee, and more impressively, Ellee's poop. After continuing to explain the lotion-application type movements and one recreated what could be described as the act of applying shampoo to your hair in the shower, showing me brand new white booty shorts that I ripped the tags off of that morning that were now covered in poop, and trying to convince me that it was something they 'could laugh at now'; when I asked Thing 2 to tell her teachers that she was sorry for playing in her poop; she looked up and shouted "SHORY!" "BYE!" dripping with sarcasm with her fat palm up in the air and she was out the door.

When enjoying martinis on the couch and something begins to "hiss" VIOLENTLY LOUD right behind you; know that its your cat saying hi to Frank. Then, when you call Frank's name and the cat sees it as his opportunity to bolt up the stairs; don't bother spending the next 3 minutes yelling at Frank to stop looking in the bathroom for the cat; he's LONG GONE. And when he lays at the bottom of the stairs (which is NOT the couch which is were he ALWAYS lays) and continues to STARE upstairs as he pretends to act like he totally LOVES laying on hard tile. "what; there was a cat down here? really? I had no idea... I was just choosing to lay in this spot that I'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE. Oh that? My back hair ALWAYS stands up like that... yeah, totally normal things over here..."

Even though your intentions are good, albeit selfish; don't bother to make twice as many swedish meatballs thinking you won't have to make dinner on Friday night; since your husband will manage to do all the dishes; clean up the stove; and leave the container of meatballs on the counter overnight for you to find the next morning.

Important lessons I thought I'd pass along.