Daycare drama

It seems Eleanor is struggling a bit a preschool lately, or just maybe the school is struggling; I'm her mama and I am leaning towards the latter.  My baby is nothing but consistent, even if that means consistently stubborn, opinionated, hyperactive and hungry. 

She does very well with her "main" teacher, Ms. Leslie.  I've spoken to her at length as recently as 2 days ago.  For 30 minutes.  She gets Ellee, understands that she is a precious princess, and ultimately can trick her into doing what she wants her to do. 

Yesterday, I walked in and asked "how was our day?" to the lady at the front desk.  She paused and said "well, not great" and continued to tell me that we had a timeout today for sticking our tongue out at one of the after school teachers.  This 'teacher' and another one, are the closing teachers and therefore, get a mix all ages from 3's to 5? 6? who knows... there are some big boys in with my LITTLE 3 year old GIRL.

As I wholeheartedly and repeatedly agreed, it is wrong of her to stick out her tongue; and she got a well deserved timeout. I was told after she was browbeaten asked to apologize, she did.  Then was asked if she remembered why she said she was sorry, then asked if she knew she wasn't supposed to stick out her tongue at her teacher, then asked if she was going to use her listening ears, and on and on.  I'm over it just hearing it second hand. 

Then something interesting happened.  Sometimes when you let people just keep talking, especially about something (child discipline from a computer clerk at a daycare) or someone (3 year olds in general, my daughter specifically) interesting and revealing things come out of their stupid mouths.  Apparently, after one of Ellee's waterboarding sessions, time out interventions, she began to try to talk to her capture in an attempt to make her seem like a human being timeout guard and she said she had a puppy and read a story and that she was a princess.  This struck with the timeout Nazi as funny, but not like we are amused; like "oh you think you're a princess? YOU ARE NOT".  Her exact words to me? "I said 'you are pretty and all but you're not ALL THAT..." I said "well, she won't have body issues with that confidence" and cut myself lose from the conversation and ended with "I guess we have somethings to discuss".  I did stop Ellee at the front desk and she apologized to the point that the phrase means nothing anymore and we talked about it on the way home.  I even did the "wait til your father gets home" but it was barely any fun since I figured she had been crying about it for about 3 hours straight. 

She did tell papa, he was upset and she ran off crying to her room.  She came back down, apologized and we left it at that.  I can't help but feel like the message was really lost in the delivery on this one.  Not only is the mouthpiece for the preschool and idiot that wanted to be sure a 3 year old girl knew she wasn't sitting royalty, but these 'teachers' are really incredible.  Since I'm not good and just writing a check and letting her figure out how to deal with these teachers, I wanted to call the school and discuss it with an administrator; since they are long gone when I get there at 4:20pm everyday.  But, before I could call, I got a call.  I was being advised that Eleanor was being put on a behavior modification program and that it would be my job to follow up every night (like I don't already, thanks for the insult, old maid) and that she would be given a smiley face at the END of the day, by one of the two teachers that have already decided they are NOT amused by Ellee.  I explained that doesn't work for me and here is why.  Using names and specific instances, each of the old bags got ratted out.  The tone of the conversation quickly changed and the director told me they afternoon rotation of teachers is going to be switched up.  No longer will the 3's be merged with teenagers in the other room, they will come back from recess at 3:30pm and another teacher will watch them back in Room 4.  This will only happen until about 4:30pm until that teacher will go home, then they will be blended again.  So long Bodypump at 4:15pm, I've got to get my daughter to be sure she doesn't get mentally abused by the 'teachers' who's salaries I pay. 

Eleanor IS a princess; just ask her, she'll tell you.  And I'm NOT apologizing anymore for being a pacifist parent.  Figure it out or don't cash my check.

Pacy becy 513; Papa 1

SOMEONE is still struggling with the pacy becy.  I'm not going to mention names, but Jason just needs to give it up.  I'm NOT supporting this and Summer thinks a 3 year old lying straight to her father's face is hilarious.  I'm not mentioning names...

The other night, I finished was has been described as my "crippling" bedtime routine.  We get the toothbrush, she puts her OWN toothpaste on, (if this critical step is messed with its anarchy for the next 40 minutes) brushes herself, then its my turn.  I have to brush her teeth and tongue and then we wash her feet (if this critical step is messed with its anarchy for the next 38 minutes).  We then argue about using the potty; "Please try" "I don't have to go" "please just try" "I can't. I don't wanna go" "JUST TRY AND GO OR YOU'RE GETTING A SPANKIN" "I DON'T HAVE TO GO". Then we feed kitty treats, give a cat treat to Puck if he's made it up the stairs, then into bed for the biggest variable of our night; story time.  She's been addicted to The Very Hungry Caterpillar (who can't relate?) and, of course, The Three Billy Goats Gruff. She IMMEDIATELY questions for pacy.  "Is it under your pillow? You know that's your business; you have to keep track of it." "I CAN'T SEE IT" while she frantically tosses blankets and animals everywhere.  But the moment she hears its familiar "clank"; my little Pavlov grins from ear to ear and instantly lays down and rolls over.  INSTANTLY.  What mom is going to argue with THAT?  Certainly no parent that just spent the better part of 30 minutes white knuckling it through a bedtime routine from hell.

I finish story, start her music and call in the clowns to say good night.  Summer usually crawls into bed with her and squeezes her until I have to yell about the over abundance of affection she is showing.  Then Papa comes around the corner.  Eleanor saw him and SNAPPED pacy out so quickly it made a "pop"ing sound.  Summer raised her caterpillars  eyebrows and we just waited for the storm to hit.  She hid pacy behind her back in a feeble attempt to get it under the pillow without Papa noticing.  Even for that dinosaur, her reflexes were not fast enough. 

She jumped up and gave him an enthusiastic hug and kiss and laid down quickly.  He continued to rub her back and ask her questions about her day, what she learned at school and who she played with.  Clearly, this inquiry irritated  Eleanor.  She finally said "Papa, I NEED my sleep. Can you leave my room now?" I bit my cheek to keep from howling and had to kick Summer out due to her lack of control.  Papa asked her "is there something under your pillow?" "NOPE" she snapped back.  Her hand is now on the trigger; she's praying for him to leave.  I think she's actually sweating.  He then asked, "what do you have in your hand, Ellee?" She replied "MY FINGERNAILS".  That's it; I'm DONE.  I can't get out of the room fast enough trying to choke out "you ARE my best baby" as I take notes from my 3 year old on how to lie to her father's face.  He walked out shortly thereafter, fully defeated.  Pacy becy wins.

So I've decided

Independent of any input from her father, that Eleanor and I are only going to discuss school for 5 minutes in the car on the way home; and not anymore.  I'm sure she's playing me for a fool, but the last 3 nights getting her to bed have been ridiculous. She goes down at 8:30, comes out of her room roughly 45 minutes later when her music turns off and gives us some song and dance about how she has no water or needs to go to the bathroom.  All lies and now its 9:36pm.  WONDERFUL.  So I chase her back into bed, remind her she's "my best baby" and she tells me I'm her "best momma" and she kisses me through pacy becy (don't judge me) and I cover her head with her rivee and start her music and blow her kisses (that she blows back) then she 'moos' after I then remind her to "don't forget to milk the cows".  Then she states "I'm going to see Ms. Nicole at school, right?" AGHGHGHGHGH.  I'm NOT FAST ENOUGH.  She caught me.

"No, Ellee. Ms. Nicole is not at your new school.  You have Ms. Brandi now" (I'm now trying to hold her down with my forearm and hand across her body)
"Oh. But why can't I see Ms. Nicole?" (the writhing has begun)
"Because.  Ms. Nicole teaches babies and you are a big girl now."
"NO I'M NOT" she hisses back at me through her pacy.
"Alright, well whatever.  You have to go to Ms. Brandi. Roll over and close your damn eyes."

Then, this morning when I went in singing the "Good Morning" song to her, she snapped at me "WHY ARE YOU SINGING? I'M GOING BY MS. NICOLE?" I said no and walked right back out. Her EYES weren't even open... so this whole school and education is bullshit.  She falls asleep concentrating on it and wakes up plagued by it.  I'm choosing ignorance; I will not (and I've told her father and sister they cannot either) ask her about her friends, or what she learned, or what she played with at recess.  I'm sure this will backfire and she will be a grade school dropout; but she'll sleep good at night.