ME DAMN IT

This is about me. I can count about 3 people in my life that will understand every.word. I. say.

I'm a mom; blah blah blah.  Insert all the usual complaints here.  I cook, clean, launder, shampoo, rinse and repeat and figure out where mysterious smells come from. I keep children alive.  I waste money on gas speeding home from my 1st shi(f)t job to my 2nd shi(f)t of being above referenced mom.  I shoot clothes on children like they come out of a cannon.  I routinely scream the exact same phrases at the 14 year old about her grades. But whatever about them; this is about me.

I read more.  I don't exercise enough.  I'm good at my job.  I wear bright colors and I look good in them. I have great hair; but can count on one hand the number of times I've been able to grow my nails.  I don't like to ever have a bra on after 6:15pm; or ever on a day that starts with "S".  I have an obsession with pillows on my bed; functional or not.  I had a panic attack today.  I throw myself pity parties often. BUT I'm figuring out the British monarchy.  I read FICTION books now (occasionally).  My goal to be pharmaceutical free by December is on track.  I laugh at South Park. I say "that's what she said" far more than ANY 14 year old boy could.  Or all of his friends combined.  I sometimes miss being single and having a harem of women... to help me raise my child. I'm smart enough to know it would be stupid to EVER do any of that bullshit again.  I'm excited to watch Summer go though all of it. I'll have an empty house at the age of 42.  Wait...Damn it. Those kids make there way into EVERYTHING.